I'm nakit an I'm nackit an I'm a' yallow backit. Answer: horn.
A rhyme in cant signifying "a beggar trying to get milk from a woman in a milk-house".
A deaf man heard it, a blind man saw it, a man without legs an arms ran after it. Answer: the hicht o dampt nonsense [height of damned nonsense].
[False start.] A deaf man heard a hare, a blind man says where an a man withoot legs or arms liftit it up. Answer: dampt nonsense.
[False start.] A deaf man heard a hare, a dumb man said where, an a man without legs an arms picked it up. Answer: nonsense.
Fit is't that we see every day, but God never sees? Answer: his double or equal.
Fit's like the half o the moon? Answer: the other half.
Foo heavy is the moon? Answer: four quarters.
Fit's as roond as the moon an as flat as a pan, the tail of a woman an the head of a man? Answer: a penny.
Fit has lang legs, nae knees, his feet like bawbees? Answer: tyangs [tongs].
NOTE In imperial measures, a quarter was a quarter of a hundredweight or a quarter of a pound, depending on context.
Two O's, two N's, a L an a D, spell them together and they'll spell London for me.
Fit has two hands, an never washes its face? Answer: a clock.
How much feet has forty sheep, a shepherd an his dogs? Answer: two - a dog has paws and a sheep has trotters.
Fit has got four legs an never uses them? Answer: a table.
Fit gaes through the water, an through the water an never touches the water? Answer: an egg inside o a deuk [duck].
Fit is't that ye can tie wi yir tongue, 'at ye canna lowse wi yir teeth? Answer: the marriage bounds [bonds].
Fit's black an fite an re(a)d all over? Answer: a newspaper.
Elizabeth, Betty an Beth went tae the woods tae herry a bird's nest. There wis three in the nest an each took one, how many were left? Answer: Two. Elizabeth, Betty and Beth are the one name.
Fitch is the lightest city in the world? Answer: Cork.
Fit has the littlest brig in the world? Answer: your nose.
Four an twenty fite coos, stan'in in a byre, an in comes the reid bull an licks them a' ower. Answer: your teeth.
It's as round as a ball an hair all round, an water draps oot. Answer: your eye.
Fit wey does a dog carry a bone in its mouth? Answer: it hasn't got a pocket to put it in.
If there was a big man walkin doon the road, an anither een a little behind him, what time would it be? Answer: a little after one.
Fit's reedichy rodichy, rin by the dyke, keep awa yir clockin hen, I dinna care for yir tyke? Answer: a worm.
Fit's chip chip cherry, a' the men in Kerry canna clum chip chip cherry? Answer: the reek goin up the lum [smoke going up the chimney].
Fit's father, mother, sister an brother, they all lie in one bed an they never touch one another? Answer: the bars of the grate.
Fit is two women an two men lyin in a bed? What animal does it represent? Answer: a cow - four teats and two horns.
What is two women, one man, lyin in bed: how much animals are they? Answer: one cock, two hens and 100 hares (hairs).
Riddles and conundrums.
It wis from a young man I got it, atween two legs I put it, first through hair, then through skin, then [?] the trick was done. Answer: a man skinning a rabbit with a pocketknife.
Fit gaes in dry, dry an cams oot dreep, dreepin; ye ca' wi yir back, til yir body's a' sweitin? Answer: a churn.
A wee, wee man wi a red, red nose, the longer he stands the shorter he grows. Answer: a candle.
Whit's shapit like a mill wheel, an luggit like a cat? If ye guess that, I'll gie ye a new hat. Answer: a washing tub.
The bull bulled it, the coo calfed it, and the smith made it. Answer: a bellows.
The meaning of a kiss: a communication to the headquarters afore you start an operation to the naval (navel) base.
Why does the chicken cross the road? Answer: to get to the other side.
Why does a coo look over a dyke? Answer: because it canna see through it.
Is it a man wi' one eye or a man wi' two eyes that sees the most? Answer: the man with one eye, because he sees your two eyes, you only see his one.